“Lizard Brain” – FAQ, and a Revolutionary Business Model!

We’ve been receiving several questions about the “Lizard Brain” project. This FAQ intends to answer those questions.

Printing means happiness.

What does the name “Lizard Brain” mean?
The ‘lizard brain’ is a part of our own human brains. Isn’t it weird that we are humans, but we have a part of our brain called ‘lizard brain’? Go check it out on Wikipedia, it’s a very interesting read.

This is the year 2009. Will the zine be printed on paper?
Thanks to the latest developments of digital technology and the virtual era, the answer is yes. Thanks to this futuristic digital technology, it has never been so easy, fast and cheap to print books, magazines and other stuff. We believe there is space for both books and Kindles in our future. Besides, paper is much easier to recycle than electronic gadgets.

I want to participate on the zine, but I don’t know what to send. What are the rules?
WANT: Smart, intelligent, funny, uplifting, ironic, sexy. Short fiction, interesting poetry, articles, drawings, comics. We love comics.
FAIL: Self-indulgence, pseudo-intellectualism, boring shit, poems about your feelings.
Nudity is OK. “Profanity” is OK.
Think of the craziest zines you have ever seen. We want to be better than them.

How will the authors be paid?
They won’t. It’s a zine! I do all of the editing myself, and for free. That’s how we roll.

I live far away from you. How can I get a copy of the zine?
There are two options. Either you can buy or trade through the mail, or you can download the PDF and print it yourself.

What? You’re giving the high-quality PDF away for free?
Exactly. And in high resolution. It’s a big file, but using it you can print the zine and make it look just like the ones I’ll print myself.

I am an author who have participated in the zine. Can I sell some copies?
Yes. You can print the PDF and sell copies of the zine. In fact, anyone can do that.

What?
Exactly. This is the Lizard Brain(tm) Poeira Comics(tm) non-patented Revolutionary Business Model(tm).

We are doing the zine for fun anyway, and the only real costs we have are with printing. So, anyone in the world who is willing to print the zine and sell it, is allowed to. Even encouraged!

Since the dawn of zines, they have been exchanged and sold by people in small circles. I am not going to sell 1,000 copies of the zine around the world. I’ll only sell a few of them, for my family and a few friends. I might even trade some copies with other people who make zines and related stuff. But that’s it. If anyone else wants to do the same, I will feel more honoured than robbed.

Let’s suppose a man named Takahata Kitano lives in Osaka, Japan. He knows about 20 people who enjoy zines and comics like he does. If he’s willing, he may download the PDF from our website, and print the zine in his local print shop. He will then calculate a reasonable price for the zines (based on the cost of the printing and how much he thinks his friends will be willing to pay for them) and sell the zines to them. He may have any profit he wants, and not send us any money for it.

Hold on. Don’t faint. Don’t yell. Don’t read the phrase again.

You got it right. Any person in the universe, including Osama Bin Laden, the Pope, and Megan Fox, may print the zine out, and sell it. For profit.

Let me be even more clear on that. If Rupert fucking Murdoch decides to print one million copies of Lizard Brain and sell them through DC Entertainment, and then profit 3 million dollars out of that, it’s OK. I don’t want a single penny for that.

Why the fuck would you do this? Are you out of your mind? Are you a communist?

This business model is based on the most advanced theories of modern economics. It has something to do with people being crazy and coin toss, but I won’t get into further details because I am not an economist.

People fantasize about things like that because they always dream, way deep in their hearts, that someday they will be discovered and become both famous and rich. Bands fear sharing their songs because they think they’re the next U2. But the truth is, no, they aren’t. Besides, it is scientifically proved that bands may improve their profits after sharing their music for free–but only if the band is actually good, and if they are willing to work really hard and perform a lot of gigs. Most bands don’t want to work or travel, they just want to be famous and rich, out of the blue, with no effort. That’s not music. That’s not art. That’s bullshit.

Let’s use Occam’s razor on this. Fearing being ripped off on a creative work is magical thinking. Nobody knows me and nobody cares about my zine. So it’s OK if I let it be reprinted for free. Because nobody is going to do that. Nobody. Ruper Murdoch don’t give a rat’s ass about me and my little zine. The only people in the world who would ever consider selling copies of Lizard Brain are the people who submitted work for the zine, and want to see the result of their work printed on actual paper, and show it to their friends.

I will create a new scenario to use as another example. Let’s create a new fictional character, a woman named Carmen Lúcia, who lives in Barcelona. She submitted an illustration and we enjoyed it. It’s featured on Lizard Brain #3 and she’s mildly happy about it.

Carmen wants to show it to her boyf… no, her girlfriend. She’s a lesbian. Carmen wants to show the zine to her girlfriend Marina, but, carajo, the mail costs for me to send the zine over are too high. Besides, it’s gonna take forever to get there.

Don’t worry. Carmen swiftly downloads the PDF from our website, and prints it herself.

She might print one single copy of it, in her personal inkjet printer, then fold it and staple it. She will read it once, show it to her girlfriend, and then put it inside of a box in her wardrobe. The end.

Or maybe Carmen have a few friends who also enjoy zines and illustrations, so she prints 20 copies of it in her local print shop. One day she goes to a party and gives the zines away to her friends. Or sell them for 1 euro each. 10 euros. Whatever.

Suppose Carmen is the owner of a bookstore, and sells 100 copies of the zine in her store. The people of Barcelona then go wild about the zine, and soon she’s selling thousands of copies! Lizard Brain is considered the best zine ever released in the world and is soon selling hundreds of thousands of copies!!!

See, that’s the kind of thing that makes no sense, but people always consider it. They always dream their work will be a major hit and they’re going to make millions and be loved by hordes of people screaming “we love you!”

No matter what happens to Carmen and her copies of the zine, I’ll be staying at home, whistling, reading a book, drinking a glass of milk, and not doing anything about it. Maybe,  just maybe, Carmen will send me an e-mail someday, telling me what she did with the zine. I will be happy to know that it’s being printed and read in Barcelona.

And that’s it. No communism, no tricks, no viral marketing, no guerrilla marketing, and, above all, no bullshit. Just people having fun.

It’s just a zine. Carry on.